Early on in our marriage Carol and I did this thing we made up called Take 10.
If we were so upset with each other that we were getting nowhere, one of us would say, “Take ten.”
For 10 minutes, no talking and settle down. Whenever one of us would say, “Take ten”, there was not another word said for ten minutes.
The first 5 minutes we would think, “Why am I upset?” The second 5 minutes we would think about the other person and ask ourselves why they were upset.
I would focus on why Carol was upset and she would focus on why I was upset.
So we just spent 5 minutes figuring out what we were really upset about and then an extra 5 minutes thinking about the other person and what they were upset about.
We would come out of the 10 minutes of silence and admit to what we did wrong, apologize and ask for forgiveness.
This really worked for us.
After teaching this at a marriage conference a woman came up to me, thanked me and said her and her husband were
going to do Take 11.
I asked her, “What is that?” and she said, “Five minutes to ask yourself why you are upset. Five minutes to ask why your spouse is upset and 1 minute to pray!”
I told her I thought that was brilliant and that I would not forget it. Now I always add that in when I am talking about Take 10 at the marriage conferences.
And here I am passing it on to you.
If you like this Tip, please consider sharing it. Thanks, Brett